Wonder

I wonder how it will feel, falling, then what? Will I feel the impact? Who knows, the thing to remember is that tomorrow is another day, but I may very well not get one after that.

Desire

I wish this feeling would go away. this all encompassing dread about what I have to do. But I have to remind myself that I have to do it, I have to because there is no help, there are no angels and everyone is feeling the pinch.
I wish I sounded less like I was whining.

The decision is that if I go it will be with a bang. Well probably more like a thump really. I hope you see the funny side here like I do. I don't like heights.

afternoon

It's the cold light of day and I can hear my neighbors music playing through the walls. I keep thinking of what will happen when I am found.
It's for the best.

bed

perhaps I should try to get some sleep. I have just over 24 hours before either a miracle happens or I die. I'll update what's happening as soon as I get up.

Imagine

I wish I knew what I was going to do, but then again I kinda enjoy the whole surprise. How will I go? I don't like the idea of cutting my wrists and pills take too long. It may have to be a bit of a drop or a bag over my head (No not paper, I'm not that ugly).

so many things to think about

Broken down in Glasgow

I have really messed up my life this time. I need help but I seem to be unable to find it anywhere. Where can a guy with a bad credit rating get his grubby hands on £1000 by Tuesday? Nowhere.
As you can see from the title, this is just a count down till I finally do it and shuffle off this mortal coil.
I know that it's impossible to stop this, but for some stupid reason I can not give up hope.

So here we are, I'll post as often as I can, and you get to hear all my arguments for and against my suicide on Tuesday morning.